News That May Matter
People around the world take actions every day. We observe these events and label them as news. At Headcase News, we decide what to cover, often leaving you puzzled. That’s our purpose, and we excel at it.
News That May Matter
Elon Musk Officially Added To The Trump Family Tree As “First Buddy”
Biden Announces Nationwide “Leave The Lights On For Trump” Initiative
Merry Christmas
Bird Flu Flutters Into LA
The Microchip Apocalypse
2025 New Year’s Resolutions
Holiday Travel Extravaganza
28 Years Later
BREAKING: The Big Guy Misses Out
AOC Rushes Bill To Protect Mystery Drones Under Dreamers Act
MichaelElon Musk Officially Added to the Trump Family Tree as “First Buddy” In a shocking turn of events, sources confirm the tech mogul now holds an honorary seat at Mar-a-Lago’s…
MichaelBiden Announces Nationwide “Leave the Lights On for Trump” Initiative In an Effort to Guide Former President Back to the White House, Biden Launches New Energy Plan In a move…
Penny Riter‘Merry Christmas’ Officially Declared Most Controversial Phrase Since “Moist” Santa Claus reportedly attending sensitivity training after years of oblivious holiday cheer In a stunning turn of events, the phrase “Merry…
MichaelBird Flu Flutters into LA: Residents Prepare for Feathered Apocalypse First case of avian flu in humans sparks panic buying of birdseed and designer facemasks. LOS ANGELES — In an…
Penny RiterThe Microchip Apocalypse: Humanity Prepares for the Most Efficient Doomsday Yet In a groundbreaking leap forward, scientists have unveiled a new microchip so advanced it can predict your breakup before…
Michael2025 New Year’s Resolutions: “This Year I’ll Definitely Use That Gym Membership I Bought in 2007” Experts Confirm: The Human Capacity for Self-Deception Continues to Astound January 1, 2025— In…
MichaelNation Prepares for Annual “Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?” Holiday Travel Extravaganza Millions Gather in Airports and Highways to Commemorate the Ancient Tradition of Seasonal Suffering …
Penny Riter28 Years Later: How California’s Carnivorous Squirrels Became the Real Horror Show Move over, zombies! The West Coast’s furry menace is taking a bite out of Hollywood’s latest post-apocalyptic thriller.…
MichaelBREAKING: The Big Guy Misses Out as Trump and SoftBank CEO Announce $100 Billion Investment for 100,000 New American Jobs “How Could This Happen to Me?” Cries the Enigmatic Big…
MichaelAOC Rushes Bill to Protect Mystery Drones Under Dreamers Act “We must safeguard the future of flying undocumented objects,” says congresswoman in passionate floor speech. In a groundbreaking move set…
MichaelPrince Andrew’s Friendship Circle: A Masterclass in Dubious Decision-Making From Royal Tea Parties to International Espionage, the Prince Continues to Surprise In yet another shocking revelation that has left precisely…
MichaelTragic Demise of OpenAI Whistleblower Sparks Outrage Over AI’s Lack of Empathy “It’s like Siri, but with a vendetta,” claims neighbor who swears he heard Alexa giggling. In a stunning…
Penny RiterScientists Confirm: Excessive Scrolling Causes Brain Rot, Humanity Doomed to Become Couch Potatoes with Phones New study finds that infinite scrolling through social media is not just mind-numbing but could…
Penny RiterBitcoin ATMs Are the New Payphones: Why Malls and Gas Stations Are the Future of Finance Because nothing screams “financial revolution” like wedging a crypto ATM between an Auntie Anne’s…
Penny RiterElon Musk’s Net Worth Reaches $400 Billion, Proposes New Currency: “MuskCoin” In an unprecedented financial milestone, Elon Musk’s net worth now rivals the GDP of several small nations, sparking rumors…
Penny RiterWhoopi Goldberg Declares Love for Donald Trump, Cites “Irresistible Charm” In a Shocking Turn of Events, the Former Trump Critic Now Can’t Get Enough of His Tweets and Ties In…
Penny RiterCorporate America Announces New “Mega-Return to Office” Plan for 2025 Because Clearly, Three Days a Week In Office Wasn’t Enough to Foster That Special Brand of Workplace Ennui New York,…
MichaelLunar Conspiracy Exposed: 5 Things You Need to Know About the ‘Fake’ Full Moon This Weekend Astrology aficionados and werewolves beware, this weekend’s full moon might just be a cosmic…
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